Every now and then, you hear a song and it just hits you like a haunted freight train. Think “Oh baby baby” in 1999 (and then every Britney beat after), a group sing-along to Oasis at a college party or the first time your parents played anything by Fleetwood Mac.
For me, that moment came in 2012 when I was sitting in a nondescript campaign office. I was suddenly overcome by the synthetic beat of Lora Reinbold’s State House campaign jingle. It’s a near perfect 2:08 song.
Reinbold plays to the home crowd with lines like “She’s Alaska grown and loves our state, respects our trails, streams and lakes” while also hitting on the timeless political statements “she supports our troops and their families and she speaks up for our communities and can’t wait to see what she can do.”*
This song absolutely fucks.
Despite extensive research (three hours on Facebook) we were not able to find a 2022 single campaign jam that came even close. Cowards. So instead, let’s rank some campaign ads on a scale of 0-5 Reinbolds. 0= I’ve already forgotten about this ad WHILE writing about it. 5=Like Lora Reinbold’s campaign jingle, it will be played at my funeral and/or on a loop when I’m in hell.
In honor of Reinbold, we’ll start today with the state level candidates.
Matt Claman Time. 4/5 Reinbolds.
Rep. Matt Claman is a long-time public servant running for State Senate against Sen. Mia Costello. The ad starts with Claman doing typical Claman things like walking on the coastal trail looking at a camera, talking to voters, testifying in front of a bunch of people in suits. But then there is an inexplicable cut to some muskox fighting.
Nothing about Claman screams MUSKOX FIGHTING. Claman is more of a stay up late reading statutes to make a logical, fact-based argument sorta guy. But maybe the Senate will bring something (muskox) out in Claman that the House didn’t. TBD.
Justin Ruffridge Spinning Wheels. 3/5 Lora Reinbolds.
“This may look like there is a lot going on. But really he’s just spinning his wheels. Kinda like the Alaska State House.” Justin Ruffridge is running for State House on the Kenai against Rep. Ron Gillham and this campaign has recently turned bizarre and nasty with some very strange mailers from the Alaska Family Action. Regardless, Ruffridge has the recipe to woo Kenai voters: fancy, fast cars driving down the middle of streets. Most importantly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Republican candidate wear Patagonia. Justin, you fancy.
#firegrier from Frank 4 Fairbanks 1/5 Reinbolds
Up in Fairbanks there is a State House race between Rep. Grier Hopkins and a guy named Frank Tomaszewski. Frank clearly bought some kind of make-it-yourself-explainer-video-software where a disembodied hand (shown palm-side up, which is weirdly unsettling), scrolls out messages across a cartoon background. He is using it for all his ads.
I feel like Frank needs to learn that no one wants to read anymore. Let us know what you stand for in a catchy song.
There are many many more videos for the 59 State House and Senate seats up for grabs, but we know you just want the highlights:
-Seemingly everytime Liz Vasquez has an event, someone makes a video collage to some pretty sweet beats. Example here. 2/5 Reinbolds.
-Speaking of West Anchorage video collages, Mia Costello’s campaign team likes to get weird with some editing software like this door knocking short video set to Ice Ice Baby. 3/5 Reinbolds because they are so fresh.
-Down in Homer/Kodiak, Heath Smith (running for State Senate) is throwing it back w/ this AOL dial up internet video. The video starts with literal dial up internet sounds (bold move) and doesn’t introduce any political messaging until 16 seconds in. 2/5 Reinbolds.
-Ummm. What on earth is this Vincent for Alaska video of a wood chipper with the caption “As your next Representative, I will support and promote legislation that protects innocent children from rapists, pedophiles and anyone who seeks to harm them.” Ben Vincent who is running for State House District 5 clearly woke up and chose violence. 1/5 Reinbolds
*What she did was get banned from Alaska Airlines over mask mandates. 😕
