There are two new Alaska reality shows that are a delightful throwback to 1. Setting reality shows in Alaska and 2. The Golden Age of Reality TV. They bring me a level of joy on par with a dog sitting in the driver seat of a parked car looking straight ahead as though it’s driving 🥰 or someone sucking air into their mouth to cool food that’s way too hot 😝. Or a lady using emojis without abandon 🥰🥹🥳😳.
More than anything, I LOVE a competition reality TV show where people cast their social skills and self-awareness aside in the name of winning moderate amounts of money and fleeting fame. “Outlast” and “Race to Survive Alaska” are steeped in reckless impulse and self-absorption.
Both shows feel like they were filmed 20 years ago in the best way possible. Reality TV has changed significantly since “Survivor” and “The Bachelor” first aired. Back in the aughts, it was pure emotion, hostility and someone inevitably shouting “I’m not here to make friends!” Now, people yell to get more screen time so they can sell “flat tummy teas” and “hair growth gummy bears” on Instagram. The contestants on “Outlast” and “Race to Survive Alaska” seem like aliens who have never seen a TV show in their lives.
“Outlast” premiered on Netflix in March and is a “Survivor”-esq show featuring 16 strangers being divided into teams of four. The goal is to survive the longest in the cold, rainy Southeast Alaska fall. You can’t be voted off, so there is essentially no way to get rid of terrible people except to drive them absolutely crazy with hunger, thirst, cold, or if that all fails, stealing their shit.
Participants seem to mostly be cast for their lone wolf and alpha personalities, and it is absolutely bringing the drama. They found some CHARACTERS, one being a recovered heroin addict who was shot in the face by her boyfriend. Just give this woman the $1 million prize and call it good.
Here’s some sample exchanges from the trailer:
Unknown woman off-screen: You dirty, crooked bastards. You stole shit out of our camp. Everything is gone.
Dude who didn’t get enough screen time in episode 1 to remember his name: Shut up, go back to where you belong, and starve!
Jill from Kentucky who fucks up her team’s shelter on night 1 by trying to build it into a hill: There are no laws here!
Javier from San Francisco who bosses his team around and can’t figure out how to make a fire: YES THERE IS!
This is peak Reality TV.
“Race to Survive Alaska” airs on Mondays on the USA network. It features eight teams of two competing in six different races over the course of 40 days around the state. Unlike “Outlast,” these teams have pre-existing relationships like father/son or boyfriend/girlfriend which leads to most of the interpersonal drama.
Unlike “Outlast”, these contestants are there for sport and not just survival. It’s a lot of bragging about climbing the seven summits (aka the tallest mountain on every continent), running in elite distance races across Florida (gross), and generally referencing their rich-people hobbies. My early favorites are two brothers from Nome who don’t fit that mold. One is a fisherman and the other is a gold miner. They are the only ones wearing running shoes and tights instead of looking like they just walked out of REI, and they specifically say their goal of this competition is to get “fat and tan.” Adorable! Get these boys hawking survival gear on Insta!
Each team has 12 hours to get from point A to point B. This includes an overnight rest just to make sure everyone is super grumpy and at their breaking point for race day two. The team that loses each race is eliminated, with the last team standing wins $500,000.
The best part of this episode is when Esther, a woman from Wasilla/ Skewtna with way too much gear on her back, overheated on a 78-degree day. Shit looked super serious: She was non-responsive for a bit and ended up having to be medevaced. As she’s being loaded onto the helicopter, she says to her boyfriend/partner in the race, Brett, “I’m gonna see you in heaven.”
After cutting to commercial, a voiceover says “Well, Alaska has already claimed her first victim.” We hear nothing else about poor Esther and are left to assume that she died. Thankfully, a title card pops up at the end of the episode informing us she made a recovery and is back living happily with Brett.
I give both these shows a solid B. They aren’t quite to the level of the current season of “Vanderpump Rules” (that should receive a doctorate degree in amazing reality TV), but they are worth a watch for what they are. Supremely stupid, but for some reason they bring you joy. 🥰
This post is a submission to The Alaska Current. Please send submissions to news@thealaskacurrent.com.
